


full moon confessions

by zimungard



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Fluff, M/M, moon & beach & river & ocean, multiple feelings realizations, takes place over the years, they miss and love and kiss each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:54:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22743577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zimungard/pseuds/zimungard
Summary: The few of many moments when Wooseok felt safe in Seungyoun's presence. And vice versa.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 59





	full moon confessions

**Author's Note:**

> nothing to say - i just miss seungseok :(
> 
> Vietnamese translation by seungseokgoal - [here](https://t.co/22nk2RdEAy?amp=1)

Sometimes, the feeling of safety appears not only because of the absence of harm or threat around you. Sometimes, it’s just there. That feeling of comfort and ease. Of peace and calmness. Something that should be cherished and recognized because it rarely happens and not to everyone. 

This something is untouchable. Yes, it’s just in the air or in the chemicals, transferring through the brain. But when you lose it - you will miss it for certain, every hour and minute of it. Wooseok acknowledges it and therefore treasures the displays of this sweet emotion in his life.

The time, when he felt safe for the first time, takes place at the beginning of his, with Seungyoun, relationships. When they were younger and more carefree, when cheesy R'n'B songs were playing from each second car. Not with the exception of Seungyoun’s auto. 

He turns the radio off. The sun is setting and its light glows on the bumper. The spring breeze gets through half-open windows of his parents’ car. They look at the sky, it’s blue, a little orange and yellow here and there. 

No people around. Seungyoun drove them here, to the shore, to show a relaxing view - soothing river and creamy clouds. He liked any bodies and creations with water - oceans, seas, even pools and rains thus he selected this peaceful place as a good idea for the romantic date. 

He looks at Wooseok, whose eyes are fixed on the racing clouds, moved by the wind. Seungyoun is aware that Wooseok is better and more fascinating than any view, rural or urban. He can find all the shores and coasts, rivers and waterfalls, skies and suns of any spectra, forests and mountains, days and nights there - in Wooseok's countless smiles and dazzling eyes, in his heart and being. 

It’s the perfect time to kiss - to share the warmth and passion in a physical way. Doubts fly through Seungyoun’s head: is this the right time? will he do it back? will he… like it? 

Seungyoun gets closer and catches - catches his lover’s lips. They both lingered for this and, needless to say, dreamed, fantasizing how it will manifest in reality and what would they feel. On rare occasions, the reality is better than a dream. Exactly like now. Many kisses were shared on this cozy evening by the shore. Some are passionate, some are gentle and some made their lips a sanguine red. 

“I think,” Wooseok says, his cheeks are still blooming from their bits of affection. “It’s time to go home. It’s late, my parents are waiting,” you can catch a tone of sorrow in his voice.

“ ...Yeah,” Seungyoun breaks his gaze from Wooseok’s face like he awakened from the trance. “You’re right. Time went by so fast,” he laughs, showing a full smile and hiding the pity that the time of sentiments and tenderness is ending for today. 

Seungyoun turns the key, the car engine rumbles and swishes, then - the noise trails down. Seungyoun tries again. With difficulty, the engine roars anew before finally dying off.

“Ughh!” Seungyoun hits the wheel, his teeth are clenched. 

“We can’t drive back?” Wooseok asks, his voice is quiet and reserved to not irritate Seungyoun furthermore. The idea of being left here - at the faraway from the city shore, close to the wide highway, gives Wooseok an eerie feeling. Can the car protect them from wild animals? From the wandering around people with bad intentions? Wooseok gulps, his pupils shake. The prospect of spending the night in a car, until the help will come, is chilling and more than unpleasant. 

Seungyoun turns the key again and again. Repeats and repeats. His frustration carries to Wooseok, who is already imagining all the awful scenarios that could happen under the shining moon. 

Seungyoun sighs, leaning on the sit. He taps his feet, trying to concentrate on finding the possible and fastest solution. Seungyoun notices Wooseok’s expectant gaze and how much he startles from each sound, coming from the outside: be it the rustle of leaves or the strong river stream.

“It’s okay,” Seungyoun advises, taking Wooseok’s hand. “Don’t be afraid, I will protect you. From anything.”

Strangely for him, Wooseok felt safe, the warmth is spreading through his body, washing all the fears, even the most unsettling ones, away. Seungyoun’s words and promise are like a sedative pill. Seungyoun leans closer to hold him, putting a hand on his waist to give the heartfelt and secure touch. Touch that radiates something more than fleeting crush or short-living infatuation.

Wooseok realizes - no worries can exist, when Seungyoun is close, and when his gentle and fond embrace is being devoted to him. 

Wooseok _felt safe_.

**~ ~ ~**

The other time, when this emotion appeared inside him, happened during Seungyoun's departure as sailor's apprentice on the industrial barge. Seungyoun adored water and being around one since young, and his career choice naturally reflected that. 

They stand at the port, arms around each other in a melting hug. The speakers for announcements are transmitting the radio, playing the trendy, these days, pop music with bubbly vocals. 

In a few minutes, Seungyoun will leave and only arrive at the doorstep after a long time - six months. Longer than they wished to, this period of time will be hurtful and painful, filled with memories as the only fuel of energy in their lives. 

The fabric of Seungyoun’s coat is getting wet. From the power of longing, Wooseok can’t hold himself anymore. Tears come out without notice or warning and fall on Seungyoun’s shoulder. His grasp becomes more tight, eliminating the already small distance between him and Seungyoun. They stay silent, feeling each other’s touch to imprint it in their minds forever - because that’s everything they will have in a separation - nostalgia and recollections of the fond moments. 

The barge utters the low and ear-piercing sound, like a while in a deep sea. It’s time for Seungyoun to part with his ordinary life and go onboard on the cold and heartless boat. 

Seungyoun breaks the hug to witness and remember how beautiful his lover is. Wooseok looks down, the wet traces on his cheeks didn’t dry yet. Seungyoun wipes them off, placing a thumb under his eyes, making Wooseok laugh with pressed lips from such cheesiness, only seen in movies. Now, Wooseok’s tears will dry on Seungyoun’s fingers.

Wooseok notices how strong Seungyoun is, not letting the sadness get ahead of him, how much he holds himself to not let Wooseok crumble even more. 

Wooseok _felt safe_ from the way Seungyoun was grazing his cheek to catch the approaching teardrops. From how strong his mental stance is and how much he pushes himself not to grieve at the place of their goodbye. Although Wooseok knows, how many storms and overcasts are inside Seungyoun’s mind.

It’s safe right here, when the compassionate touch is caressing his skin, taking away all the tears and ache together.

“I’ll miss you. Miss you every day,” Seungyoun says, retreating the shared touch, which will be their last for a long time.

**~ ~ ~**

Wooseok felt safe on the first vacation with Seungyoun. At midnight on the beach, illuminated by the orange night lamps. Although the sun is set for a few hours now, the air is still hot and humid. The discos and late-night parties do not cease, shouting the nowadays popular hip-hop music. The beach isn’t empty, plenty of people are spending the time here, slurping drinks. Some are sober, some are not so much. 

The wind blows the fabric of Wooseok’s light blouse and Seungyoun’s jacket. The pieces of sand are stuck to their feet. Seungyoun observes the calm ocean and its waves, reflecting in the moonlight. He still adores water like before, he spent a large amount of time being in its hold on a rushing barge, sailing through the Pacific. But he adores it less than Wooseok. And it’s not because Wooseok, like every human, consists of water on eighty percent. It’s because he doesn’t just adore Wooseok - he loves him. 

The thunder rattles. The summer rain hits the sand, creating small pits. People find escape under the roof of restaurants on the coast to continue the party. 

“Do you wanna go?” Seungyoun stands up, shaking off the sand from his pants.

“No. Don’t you love rain?” Wooseok argues, the raindrops land on his hair.

Seungyoun sits back, his place got a little soaked, which means more sand will stick to his clothes. But he doesn’t care - if Wooseok said to stay here, then that's the final decision.

Seungyoun takes off his jacket and hangs it over Wooseok’s head - the self-made improvised umbrella, “I love you being dry and healthy more than rain. I don't want you to catch a cold."

“Can you repeat the first three words?"

“I love you.”

Wooseok peeks from the jacket, weighing on his head. The feeling of safety from Seungyoun's confession arises once again. And just like many times before, it never gets stale or dusty - it’s always new and welcomed. 

**~ ~ ~**

The first time, when Seungyoun felt safe, fell on their earlier date. At the shore, in the spring. When his old and broken engine got off and Wooseok was getting worried about spending the night at the faraway from the city place. 

“I’ll protect you,” he says, holding Wooseok in his arms. 

With hoarse voice and a hint of regret, he follows: “It’s my fault. It’s all my fault... I should have checked the car! I’m sorry, Wooseok,” he averts his gaze, “I let you down. I made you worried… sorry… you must be disappointed in me and I totally understand. I unders-”

His words are cut half-way - by Wooseok’s lips - the best interruption there could be. The reassurance, the affectionate protest to his statement, the confirmation of mutual comfort. Seungyoun _felt safe_ , although he was the one who promised to protect and guard. But now he knows, he’s not the only one - Wooseok wants to protect and guard too.

“I'll never be disappointed in you,” Wooseok tells, breaking their kiss. 

**~ ~ ~**

Seungyoun didn’t cry in the hold of Wooseok’s arms at the port. Didn’t cry when he wiped his lover's tears with the thumb. Didn’t cry, when they retreated their touch nor waved each other the last goodbye. Nor when he stepped aboard and when the boat sailed. But later.

It’s late at night and the moon glows on the deck. It’s time for Seungyoun to leave into his lonely cabin after the first hard day of departure and execution of the orders from people, higher than him in rank. He cried, while being by himself and finally coming in terms with his emotions.

Seungyoun takes out the lunch box, which Wooseok prepared for him. The food in there won’t last for long but it’s something that shows the thoughtfulness and attention through what it seems like a trivial thing. 

The sandwiches and home-made cakes are thoroughly wrapped in a foil. Each piece of a treat is made with care. Although Seungyoun knows that Wooseok is a terrible cook, he appreciates the length he had gone for to provide the meal and not to burn anything in the kitchen. 

When he opens the box and feels the scent of their home - the tears flow down his face. His shared with Wooseok home, which he’ll be missing for the long six months. Seungyoun smiles, remembering Wooseok’s gaze, filled with devotion, gifted to him on their farewell. And even in separation, it makes Seungyoun _feel safe_. Safe to the brim.

**~ ~ ~**

“I love you,” Seungyoun says with a grin, witnessing the absurd and silly picture of Wooseok and a jacket, hanging over his head. 

“Move closer,” Wooseok advises.

Seungyoun shifts his position, they are close now - minimal distance. Almost cheek to cheek. Wooseok weighs the jacket on Seungyoun too, getting a chuckle from him. They need to be safe together, being cared by one another on this sultry day with summer rain, in the moonshine, which sparkles, when the clouds open the path for this lucid light.

“I love you too.”

These four words said by Wooseok in a whisper - it’s too intimate to speak in a full volume. Seungyoun, once again, felt safe from the confession, although it’s repeated for him every day and not only through the speech, but through the actions too, no matter how little and insignificant, on the surface, they may be - like this one - sharing a jacket together.

Seungyoun is _safe_ with Wooseok. And Wooseok is _safe_ with Seungyoun. At any time, at any month or year, any moment or phase of their love and connection.

**Author's Note:**

> [my twt: @sskissm](https://twitter.com/sskissm) & [cc](https://curiouscat.me/sskissm)
> 
> i hope you felt safe too <3  
> thank you for reading ♡ i would love to hear your feedback ♡


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